When there is only joy, you overload, and the emotion becomes meaningless.
When there is only pain, you become numb and once again, emotion recedes into meaninglessness.
When joy and pain randomly succeed each other in an unpredictable random progression, the result is true personal involvement — real life.
Irritation means one of two things -- you are unable to get though to the other person, or you are no longer willing to try.
Maybe you are tired of beating your head against the wall, or find your fount of emotional strength exhausted, or your words fail you. It is also possible that you already tried your eloquent best and the other person simply cannot or will not listen.
Recognize which it is, and then either renew your effort to communicate with better clarity or do what you can to get away from the source of irritation.
Don’t waste another minute.
Because perpetuating anyone's state of irritation -- including your own -- is as bad as letting a faucet perpetually run water.
Faith is so overrated.
It is also only a small part of the equation.
What good does it do if you and I believe in something when we don’t take advantage of the knowledge and understanding that this faith gives us in order to act for the greater good?
An example of misused faith, taken from the Judeo-Christian traditions -- Satan has great faith and believes in God.
Maybe it is better to love than to believe.
One who truly loves, takes responsibility for others, regardless of ability, cause, guilt, fault, or preference.
If you are not anyone's brother-keeper, then find someone closest to you who is in need and become one. You will not need to look far, since we all can use a helping heart -- for a hand alone will not do -- whether we admit it or not. So, go ahead, choose any one of us and then lighten our burden with subtlety.
See through us.
Rain beats against the world outside in torrential streams of sky water.
It washes away everything.
May our forgiveness do the same.
The New Year is a reusable blank slate. No reservations or regrets. Every moment you can begin anew with passion.
Use the bouquet of moments well.
When making resolutions, we feel optimistic and energized. It seems as if we've focused our immediate future into a single powerful beam of clarity, and shaped it, given it real tangible form.
Indeed, it is exactly what happens.
In the creation of each new concrete goal we create the rest of our life.
Take this test:
Shape your lips into a kiss-pout. Go ahead, do it right now, regardless of whether you are alone or in a public place. Hold the pose for 5 seconds.
How did that make you feel?
Playful? Daring? Silly? Sexy? Empowered? Cool? Hot? Brazen? Wanting to whistle?
Whatever your reaction, take your pick.
And now, analyze what you chose. Because the result reflects your personal vulnerability.
Why is it that things become painfully important only when we find them gone?
While the sun shines, we pay no attention. While we see color, hear music, feel the softness of cotton, taste the tang of a ripe apple, we ignore them and take them for granted.
While those we love are with us, alive, we don't consider the profundity of it.
Don't allow loss to be your harsh teacher.
Open your eyes and look around you now, and see.
The story of your life and mine is told through words, but it is experienced through the senses.
So, how is it that words "dissolve" in the transformational barrier of our imagination and come out on the other end as smells, tastes, images, sounds and touches? What kind of mind magic is it that transports us from the perception of dead symbols to a participation in a vibrant living reality?
Well, it is not magic, but your own ability to connect to the rest of the world.
Without the willingness on our part to reach out and connect to others, stories would not exist. We would have no desire to participate in experiencing them, and hence in creating them.
We would not know them.
And you would not be reading this sentence.
Indeed, you would not be reading at all.
Terrifying, isn't it? Well, good thing you can imagine the scenario, because in the act of doing so you are negating it.
So relax, and read on.
The stories are all safe and waiting for you.
For many of us it is a quickly snatched hot cup of coffee or tea, and maybe a portable energy bar or a breakfast sandwich wrapped in foil and received from a fast food window.
As we consume it -- liquid or solid, hot or lukewarm or cold -- we pay it only a smidgeon of our attention. Maybe the heat briefly scalds the mouth as we rush to swallow, or the familiar flavor strikes the taste buds with "eggness," or "cerealness" or any number of other well-known things we consume all our lives.
The rest of our attention is on the world around us -- whether it is the road as we hold the wheel, or the work on the computer screen in our office. And thus we rush to swallow, to chew, to blandly fill ourselves.
The first nourishment of the day, the energy that will power and drive us, is taken in without awareness, or appreciation.
It is a pity. Because if we took the proper time to focus upon it, it would do us more tangible good.
The cold stands outside and beyond, but you are wrapped in a cocoon of warmth.
It is your home. No matter if it is only a home of the moment.
Cherish it.
What is the difference between "elegance" and "grace?" Both notions are rich with fine nuances of meaning.
Elegance suggests smooth secular style, while grace hints at spiritual, even religious finesse.
During the holidays, may your spirit be elegant and your state of grace be achieved in high style.
The feeling of security is one of the most underrated and unexplored emotional states out there. It is the vanquisher of stress, the bringer of inner peace, the enhancer of joy, the means to appreciating the transient wonder of the moment.
Security, when it comes, is like a soft warm glow, rising to envelop you from all directions, until you are bathed in the unconditional light of simply being.
And in case you disdain security and all that it entails, consider this -- those who strive for security are not merely wise, prudent, selfish, timid, or seeking the simplicity of childhood and the safety of the familiar.
They are the ones who truly understand how to provide it to others.
Worry is the secret weapon perpetrated upon us by the dark forces of the world that lurk in the shape of fear, uncertainty, confusion, and loss.
We, on the other hand, have our own secret weapon against these incorporeal fiends.
It is laughter.
Many of us get depressed during the holidays. We tend to look around at the seething overflow of cheer everywhere -- in the media, on the streets, under every social circumstance. If we are not personally caught up in the whirlwind joy, we feel inadequate, and the blue feeling intensifies and spirals.
Eventually we are like spots of gloom compared to the rest of the bubbling Happyland, when in fact we are merely the same -- exactly how we had been moments before someone decided to call in the holidays.
All of this might take place not because we are all Humbug Scrooges, but because any forced mood change somehow feels artificial, unreal, and most of us are able to tell.
Indeed, festive mood is like a bottled giddy perfume, and it gets liberally sprayed on the world around the early fall, so that all the focus tends to slip toward green fur tree boughs, red gift wrap, golden blurry lights, and various camera angles upon a laden feast table centerpiece. The festive fragrance also calls up people dressed in bright sweaters, smiling excessively and hugging each other, raising sparkling glasses to toast something intangible.
Sometimes this perfume works on us, and we are caught up in the glow (in which case, ignore the rest of this entry, go, shoo!).
Other times, we are not quite in synch with it. So we wave off the overbearing scent in annoyance, not to mention a minor allergic reaction. This is when the dissonance starts to grate, to exacerbate our irritation and our already different personal state. Or else, it increases the nostalgic longing for the illusory joy that seems out of reach.
Think -- how unfair it is to ask anyone to rejoice when they are breaking inside, for so many reasons.
And yet . . .
And yet, the Spirit of the Holidays has a strange healing power if we allow it to affect us. For it is the collective spirit of joy of humanity with all its rich time-brewed traditions and rituals and primeval wonder -- how can it not move us?
However, as with any proper application of scent, too much all at once is a mistake. Mood perfume must be so subtle that it enters you and me without notice, gradually, and starts to seduce with its inevitability.
One breath at a time.
Transforming us.
Then the warmth becomes real, the candles shine with a sacred light, the green boughs beckon, and the smiles touch the heart. Even if just for a moment, it is all genuine, all applicable to us, members of the human species.
It is only then that, drenched in the perfumed sweetness of verisimilitude, we can truly celebrate.
There's a familiar saying we've all heard before -- follow your dreams.
It is absolute nonsense.
If you follow a dream, you will be following it always, like the receding horizon, like a will-o-wisp. Under no circumstances should you follow your dreams, for dreams are only shadows.
Instead, consider what it is that you dream about, and come up with a practical, goal-driven plan of action that will get you -- or anyone -- there.
Then, follow your own step-by-step achievement instructions, as you would a recipe.
Even a child can do it.
Don’t ever be ashamed to cry.
The outpouring of pent-up emotion is as necessary and inevitable as rainfall.
And it allows you to take the next breath and plant the next step.
There is an empty spot inside all of us. Sometimes there is more than one.
The spot is like a tiny black hole. The nature of its vacuum is blacker than black, colder than cold, more hungry than a starving nation.
The spot-holes must all be filled, or you feel an empty heartache, ennui, a sense of waste, a lack of will to do anything with yourself, a loss of meaning, a general weakness of will.
If you do nothing about it, more "holes" develop, and with time you lose personal cohesiveness. Slowly, you diminish.
What to do?
Well, it's a bit of a trick to fill those empty spots.
It requires the Great Flood.
The Great Flood is an outpouring of life energy to generate a rising tide of selfhood.
What in the world does that mean?
Simple -- it is a redirection of energy.
Energy rises from your center to the outside, like a fountain, and fills in all empty spots of vacuum as it fills all of you.
Every hole is plugged. Every need is met. All hunger appeased. The fabric that is "you" is repaired and strengthened.
The life energy rushes outward like a supernova, brimming past the borders of your "self."
How to get that energy? Where does it come from?
One might say, "it comes out of nothing." It "comes" in answer to an effort you make to look for it.
Indeed, the moment you begin to wonder, to think of it, it is there, just welling at the edges of your being -- the life force.
So, go ahead . . . Invoke it and use it to make the Great Flood.
Then, Fill Yourself.
